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Author Topic: Steamed Yams  (Read 305 times)

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  • *****
May 13, 2018, 10:58:24 pm


Tacitus: Well, Mara, I made it- despite your directions.

Mara Crowley: Ah. Tacitus Sunfist,  Welcome. - I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon.

T: Yeah.

M: Oh, egads! My roast is ruined. But what if I were to purchase Inn Food and disguise it as my own cooking? Delightfully devilish, Mara...

Singers: Ah- Crowley, with his crazy explanations, Tacitus is gonna need his medication When he hears Crowleys lame exaggerations There'll be trouble in town tonight!

T: Maaaraaa!

M: Tacitus, I was just- uh, just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Mana replenishing exercise. Care to join me?

T: Why is there smoke coming out of your Furnace, Mara?

M: Uh- Oh. That isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmm. Steamed clams.

M: Whew. Tacitus, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering Potatoes.

T: I thought we were having steamed clams.

M: D'oh, no. I said steamed YAMS. That's what I call Potatoes.

T: You call Potatoes steamed Yams?

M: Yes. It's a regional dialect.

T: Uh-huh. Uh, what region?

M: Uh, upstate Elysium?

T: Really? Well, I'm from Turu, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed Yams."

M: Oh, not in Turu. No. It's an Ro'ark expression.

T: I see. You know, these Potatoes are quite similar to the ones they have at The Inn.

M: Oh, no. Patented Crowley Potatoes. Old family recipe.

T: ....For steamed yams.

M: Yes.

T: Yes. And you call them steamed yams despite the fact that they are obviously Cooked.

M: Ye- You know, the- One thing I should- - Excuse me for one second.

T: Of course.

M: Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped.

T: Yes. I should be- Good Lords! What is happening in there?

M: Celestial Blessings?

T: Uh- CELESTIAL BLESSINGS! at this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the Realm, localized entirely within your kitchen?

M: Yes.

T: ....May I see it?

M: No.

Wyatt Steelfist: Mara! The house is on fire!

M: No, Wyatt, It's just the Holy Prophets.

T: Well, Mara, you are an odd fellow but I must say you steam a good Yam.

W: Help! Help!
« Last Edit: May 13, 2018, 11:03:44 pm by _Mr_hyde_ »
  • Character name: Bad Oatmeal, White Nick Fury, Angery Lady, Garfield, Teabag, Grandpa, Crazy Orc, and Short Asian Lady
  • Minecraft Username: _Mr_hyde_
It’s my job to annoy people and Start Arguments, so....¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  • ****
May 14, 2018, 12:55:53 am
What is this propaganda?
  • Character name: Wakes-With-Dawn (Argonian), Runs-Into-Fire (Argonian), Saraya (Kobold), Sunmeer (Ouginak), Fennrin (Dwarf), Mayain Sundar (Half-Elf)
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"Hey, what are you doing on the floor?"

"I thought I'd find my dignity down here."


  • *****
May 14, 2018, 01:39:50 am
This is the Power of memes, My Friend. Not only can it Create, it can Destroy. Use it wisely.
  • Character name: Bad Oatmeal, White Nick Fury, Angery Lady, Garfield, Teabag, Grandpa, Crazy Orc, and Short Asian Lady
  • Minecraft Username: _Mr_hyde_
It’s my job to annoy people and Start Arguments, so....¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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  • ***
May 14, 2018, 03:45:26 am
Lmfao I literally didn't get past the first part without dying of laughter. You wrote a story about me and mara? I don't think I can live long enough to read it all the way without dying of laughter
  • Character name: Tacitus Sunfist
  • Minecraft Username: MasterThor
Hi! My name is Tyler (Better known as Thor, or MasterThor). I enjoy writing lore and I am open for requests! PM me or ask me in the shoutbox and I will happily write any lore you want!

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  • ***
May 14, 2018, 03:48:36 am
Lmao I finished reading it. THank you Hyde, this was really unexpected and very entertaining. A good story
  • Character name: Tacitus Sunfist
  • Minecraft Username: MasterThor
Hi! My name is Tyler (Better known as Thor, or MasterThor). I enjoy writing lore and I am open for requests! PM me or ask me in the shoutbox and I will happily write any lore you want!

  • *
May 14, 2018, 08:56:23 am
I love that Wyatt makes a cameo appearance in this story.

  • *****
May 14, 2018, 12:38:46 pm
T h a n c c. It’s an Elysian parody of the “Steamed Hams” Joke from the Simpsons. It’s a meme I believe is still alive. Also, I originally considered Duroms char Durgok molare for Chalmers, But decided Tacitus was a better candidate. And the Presence of Wyatt was just An Easter egg, And implies that he’s still alive, And Maras holding him hostage.
  • Character name: Bad Oatmeal, White Nick Fury, Angery Lady, Garfield, Teabag, Grandpa, Crazy Orc, and Short Asian Lady
  • Minecraft Username: _Mr_hyde_
It’s my job to annoy people and Start Arguments, so....¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  • *****
May 14, 2018, 02:53:37 pm
SKINNERS

Why did you do this? It is a straight rip off. Yet it is true that Wyatt is alive, yet you have the wrong perosn in mind who locked him up.

*Muffled basement door scratches*
  • Character name: Warlock
  • Minecraft Username: rikkert00
I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life, freely.

  • *****
May 14, 2018, 10:18:41 pm
B-but it's a Parody ;-;
  • Character name: Bad Oatmeal, White Nick Fury, Angery Lady, Garfield, Teabag, Grandpa, Crazy Orc, and Short Asian Lady
  • Minecraft Username: _Mr_hyde_
It’s my job to annoy people and Start Arguments, so....¯\_(ツ)_/¯

  • *****
May 29, 2018, 06:27:10 pm
I realized that after I wrote the post, was too lazy to edit it honestly. Yet just don't let Wyatt out anymore. Okay?
  • Character name: Warlock
  • Minecraft Username: rikkert00
I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life, freely.

 

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